Saturday, November 29, 2008

thanksgiving


so for the last couple of weeks, i've been moping around in a rut, complainin' to anyone who would give a listen. it was a lot of basically, "imstressed!" "ineedtogetmyshittogether" and "worstcritiqueEVAR". AND, i've also been sporting a pretty serious fever, which turned out to be pneumonia (hooray!), and has effectively reduced my thanksgiving break from fun sight-seeing of Chicago, to lots of rolling around deliriously in bed (but still in Chicago..! ..?)

there was a point where my fever was up to 104 and i was pretty much an invalid. tumultuously tossing and turning in sheets (that weren't even mine... oh poor hosts ~_~), i felt like my brain was going insane, and there were voices in my head yelling nonsensical things, while the ambulance sirens whirred and whirred down the streets. but. then there was this moment of peace. all of a sudden. everything in that room just stood really still. the large white walls, the shades that hazed the city lights, all slipped into something wonderous. and i could have laid there in those sheets day-dreaming forever. 

i really wish we could all stop like that. and become so deeply immersed into something so fleeting. 

and now i'm finally back, at my desk, working out the game plan for the next couple of hectic days. the fever has more or less subsided, and i'm taking antibiotics for the pneumonia. all in all though, i'd say it was a good break. i came back with a better frame of mind. just gotta watch myself, and not get lost again.


Monday, November 17, 2008

in the air

worst critique ever. it was 'uninteresting'. my use of image as object was unsuccessful. and the worst part of it was that i didn't see it. taste level is questionable. 

for every aspect of my life, i don't know what my next move is. what happened to my unwavering sense of confidence? my self-assurance? and i realized on the bus today how poor i was. i thought i had everything but all of it is proving itself to be my own illusion. 


but i can tell you, dreams lose a lot when they become reality.  

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

delusions



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Antonio Lopez Garcia. Sink and Mirror. 1967. sexy as hell. 

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