felicia wants to live in tuscany

 

heheyeyaaargh!!!!

it's that one week before final crits and i'm expectedly nervous and stressed. i always write in this blog when i'm feeling whiny, so i'm sorry :P

it's Pasquetta tomorrow and we're planning on attending mass at il Duomo tomorrow. they are reeling around a big ol cart from the 1600s (or so i'm told) around the city in a parade of white bulls, and wrapping it in dynamite and blowing it up!!! the cart, not the animals. so that's what i'll be doing tomorrow morning.

nervvvverververous and stressted. and quite homesick. i want my mom's cooking so badly!!!! and holy cow. i have some really amazing people in my life. i hadn't been checking my mail, and one day i just got three letters and they were just so incredible. i posted them up on the bulliten board above my bed with the others that i had collected... and, it helps :)

i'm right there, over here.

it's been four weeks since i came to florence. oh, come si dice. it's really incredible here.

we live in a beautiful apartment on la Via Borga della Noce. my bedsheets are lemons, and our non-functioning washing machine is in our bathroom. illegal immigrants from Nigeria sell watches and bags right outside our alley, which opens into il mercato di San Lorenzo, then, the church of San Lorenzo, and five minutes later, the Cathedral, il Duomo, and the Baptistry, with the famous gilded doors of Ghiberti . if we're on our way to our language class, we pass by L'Arno, and il Ponte Vecchio, and if we're on our way to the discotecas or bars on the weekends, we often pass by Chiesa di Santa Croce, where the tombs of Machiavelli, Michelangelo, Dante, Galileo, and other rather important people, are held. and finally, on the way back from a night out, Palazzo Vecchio and the Uffizi. 

of course, we can't go anywhere without passing by at least four caffes. at the *very* least. 

classes are also really amazing. for our drawing class, there was a lecture on the personality of each pencil, the rich dark sensuousness of a 6B, the calm meditation and sharp precision of a 3H, as well as the broad range of qualities of different marks one can make. it made my heart race! and for our theme-sequence class, after every 6 hour studio, i feel as though there was something blooming inside of me, the sense of freedom to explore, to make mistakes, to be truthful and honest. in a dialogue that we read for class, the speaker said that art wasn't about expression anymore, but about inquiry. but not just an inquiry, but a need, for our own humanity, to create something outside ourselves.

this brings me to a running project for the theme-sequence course. we all chose an object, and upon much exploration, gathering, and developing, i've chosen the plushie as a package, something wrapped, an object with specific physical and mechanical properties, as well as much cultural and personal significance. 

here are some points of my exploration: the stuffed animal can be seen as a toy or a plaything. or, it is an object of comfort, something tactile to be fiddled and cuddled with. stuffed toys are also often a marketing strategy; when there is a successful television show or movie, its characters are often made into dolls (for example, Disney characters, Looney Toons, Pokemon, etc.). they become three-dimensional manifestations of cartoon characters. what if they become a portrait of someone real? a materialization of a real identity? plushies can also become collectibles (beanie babies), and even cultural artifacts (hello kitty dolls, raggedy anne, etc.). the personal meanings we often assign to stuffed animals is also very important; they are usually seen as living memory of our childhood, sometimes even specific times or feelings we had when we turned to them for comfort. from this perspective, it’s interesting how a stuffed animal, usually designed for aesthetic and business reasons, can retain so much personality and significance for us. what does this say about our interaction with the inanimate world? and the animate?

other questions: why do we wrap things? what is the purpose of an external skin? is it to protect, or to hide? is it to represent, or transform? why do we wrap presents? and what is the charm behind an ambiguously wrapped package in the mail, even when we know what is inside? do we wrap for aesthetic reasons, because of our inherent desire to beautify things, or because we enjoy the mystery behind something unknown? i'm not looking for an answer, but a point to start looking. and isn't that what it's all about? a new perspective, a metaphor for something bigger?

so far, florence has been a great place of growth. granted i haven't been here long, but i'm slowly getting into the pace of things. and i'm very excited for what's to come. 

sinceremente, felifel!!!

the black museum- piece of morbid nostalgia

good afternoon!

i added a new link to "i like". i found the Black Museum a while ago, and it was a match made in heaven; it catered to my appreciation of talk radio and all things strange and grotesque (remember my final 2d project last year? yup. Jerry Brudos was quite a violent man with a fantastic taste in shoes.) it's a great form of macabre entertainment and something you can zone out to while you're writing essays for internships. (:

enjoy!!

(4 more days!)

rant

home is disorienting for me. i'm never really sure if i ever truly "come back". In some senses, it's really more like i'm "going". 

Like i'm always going places, never returning.

sure, so many things are the same, the house, the climate, the old familiar roads. the usual hang-out spots. and the habits that you revert back to when you're back home. it's only for the small changes like construction work, a friend's new car, a deepening wrinkle in a parent's face, that convince me that time had really passed since i had been gone. but even so, everything is just so damn the same. and it bungles up my thoughts because i can't decide what exactly about it is so... off?

maybe it's like i'm a fish, who has been put in a new pond and evolved, and then plopped back to the old pond. and now i'm this hybrid, really confused fish of old and new. i apologize; what a dumb metaphor. 

its so inexplicable, its frustrating.

---------------------------------------------------

a record of the last couple of days:

found old ass manual camera and got a lens for 90$ (HAH). i love the beach and want to go into the water so. bad. sang to Brand New in Michael's new car. for a moment thought i reverted back to emo music tastes. miss that truck though. rediscovering Stars to be an excellent band. saw the movie Doubt, which was also excellent. Meyrl Strep is incredible. still need to see Benjamin Button, Slumdog, and that Clint Eastwood movie that's out. ate at Gypsy Den. Bought carrot cake. failed at making truffles. ITALY IN LESS THAN A WEEK. am pretty confused. 

oh and applying to internships is really irritating.

a new post

now, i've got a lot of things to say, but its late and i'm tired. probably gonna say a whole bunch of things i'm gonna edit out. but the last couple of days have been crazy fun and heartwarming, but also terribly heartbreaking.

i feel like i have everything; and even the deep sadness that i feel is actually just the other side of a deep joy and gratitude i have for the friends and family around me. diane, harita, and katie, (and nandan), you guys are the best roommates, maybe even in the history of washu, or just ever. everyday life living with you guys has never been dull, and mundanity is never an option in wheeler 4090. that last day before break was one of the most amazing days ever, but the truth is we were having fun all along. let's just get married. 

the guys (and girl) in millbrooke: you don't even understand.. your suite has been almost like my home away from home; something about you all is so *qing qieh* its a hard to describe. thank you for the good times. it kills me that most of you are graduating this year, and that i won't be able to attend your guys' graduation, but i guess this whole experience about saying goodbye and allowing change to happen has allowed to me to learn just that, even if it was against my will. it was distressing to know that we'll never see each other again under the same circumstances, and that things as they are now will recede into fond memories, but i suppose we all have to live our grown-up lives eventually. and especially you guys too!!! i hate growing up, but i sincerely.. sincerely wish you guys the best. and hopefully you'll still remember the mei-mei you had during your last two years of college :)

arthur: specifically about you. well aren't you special. don't let it get to your head though :P. but really, you're one of my best friends, period. i can say with all certainty that you are one of the coolest people i know, and i do think that wo men hen yo yuan :). [i'm really tired and i dont know how to say all of it but whatever.] i'm close to tears as i write this but, it makes me so sad that i'm leaving for Florence and that you're graduating, but honestly, i can't forsee the future but i think we're gonna be friends for a really long time. 

the floor: vague, but sincere. there are people on this floor who probably don't know how much i value them. and i suppose it isn't helpful that i don't spend time with you as much, that we don't cross paths often, that we've grown apart, or that we only know eachother rather shallowly, i mean it when i say that you are all so dear to me. for whatever reason. and i know next year, we're all going to disperse, and i don't expect to all be as close as we were freshman year, but i really hope that we keep in touch. 

people who have to deal with things: as you probably know already, i have problems with things. but having you there makes me happy. i'm sorry this is where i am with stuff like this, but i guess what i'm trying to say is, i like having you around. and wherever things go, how they turn out, we'll still be good friends :D

the last couple of days have been incredible, and dramatic, and stressful, and full of anxiety from a combination of finals, packing, goodbyes, sudden news and many, many revelations. leaving for a semester has become such a big deal to me, and i wonder why the prospect of five months away can have such a large impact. it's odd saying goodbye.. to people you'll see again, to people you won't, to people who mean a lot, and to people who secretly mean a lot. but it happens, and life continues despite you. and you know, now that i'm back home, seeing my old high school friends, i'm still happy, because honestly, they're really great too. i'm still happy, because i'm a happy person, but it still hurts quite a lot. BUT. you know, i feel like i'm finally starting to (i'm getting there..) look forward. florence will be amazing. and i'm gonna grow so much. and when it's time to leave, i'll probably have to feel all sad again. but life goes on continuously, without skipping a beat. 

and now, i feel like i've said a lot. maybe some things i shouldn't have said, as i feel like i've laid all my emotions out to the public, and put myself up for scrutiny and gossip perhaps, it had to be done before i leave. i realize that i'm probably making this a bigger deal than it is, but i will dislike you for thinking this way, cuz this was hard. 

conclusion: 

to everyone: i've learned a lot from you. thank you thank you thank you. i couldn't ask for more. 

=).. =(..

i guess.. we'll all float on alright, okay. we'll all float on.