tracks.

i have four more weeks until i have to install my work for our second crit and i have so much left to do and to figure out and to experiment.

first of all, the electronics still aren't working. i really don't understand how this is possible because i've seriously been working on it for weeks. i'm not sure if i'm just an idiot.. or if i'm just an idiot. i've probably gone back to the electronics store about four times to get it fixed. but, somehow, something comes loose, or i record the wrong connections, but SOMETHING always goes wrong. i don't know what it is, or else i would've fixed it.. 

secondly, i still haven't learned all of the skills in metal fabrication to make what i want. i will, i guess, but not yet. let alone practicing. and i've heard that precision is something that is very difficult to achieve in metal working, and is yet something necessary to what i'm crafting. 

i'm trying to keep this tenacity, stubbornness even, to  keep going, but amongst all my blindsightedness about this project, it is still laced with this kind of fear of what if it just sucks. if my installation won't express what i want it to, if people just see it just as some stupid carts going up and down (which is really, essentially, what it is), if it isn't interesting enough to withstand a short attention span.. 

but i really cannot think about it like that. just gotta do it. do it do it do it. 

think big, be tenacious. every work is your most ambitious. 

(i feel like i'm getting wrinkles)