contacts are dry

today was one of those wonderfully pathetic days where the hours pass on like a leaky faucet. i couldn't bring myself to go back to the studio so it was a really good thing that i brought the borrowed camcorder back to my dorm. i spent some time filming still lives around my room and the kitchen, finding landscapes in the dishes from the drying rack, the natural folds of clothing and sheets, the different kinds of shadows on the walls.. and then finding myself within these domestic mountain ranges, no more a person than the silent objects i find around me. how still, how peaceful..

i can hear the cars go by, feel the sinking weight of my body into the bed. and i feel so much like a child who doesn't want to go back to school, not ever. let me just exist in this deluded brain of mine.