a revival in the fall

okay, so i kind of just let this go for a while.

school has started, and the warm summer days are gradually cooling down. i can't wait for the leaves to start changing color, to take out my coats and my scarves and some thick socks.

its been.. i don't even know.

it has been one crazy year.

but basically here i am again, all settled in this familiar place, and i can't put my finger on how things have changed, or how i have changed. i've gone from place to place, country to country.. my body has traveled, my mind has roamed... i've gone through so many moods, so many obstacles, cathedrals and mountains, islands and countrysides, so many challenges that threatened to take me down.. so many moments that filled my vision with chasing light and freedom.. so many memories that have since become a construction of a haven in the back of my mind..

and i have this feeling that i can't stop running.

though i have neglected this blog, i've been religiously recording my travels in a journal. fabricated by hand, this journal is worn and coverless, its pages bending this way and that way.. an active relic of a time passed. here is an excerpt:

it's hot in Paris tonight,

and it's raining

so hard.

I feel warm right through

this loose blouse.

you see, today, there is a rainforest of flies inside of me

and a cliff upon which I am

a tightrope dancer.

and in this night, through the fear between the line and my toe,

i dream of an impossible fantasy on solid ground,

a memory of dappled raindrops

copper colored and gold

projected, lining your face and burning

underneath the street lamp

you will be my comfort.

my illusory shelter from the fall

an open window

to a thunderstorm summer.